Monday, May 03, 2010

June Summer Movie Preview: Anything 'sides the Toys?

June is usually a little hotter than May, but not at the movie theaters this year. In fact, it's second verse, same as the first. Only one-must see movie, a few decent attractions, and a whole lotta meh - or worse.


GET HIM TO THE GREEK: Jonah Hill and Russel Brand star in a movie by the same guys who made Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which I quite liked. Good enough for me. PROSPECT: B

KILLERS: The good news: Katherine Heigl can be a winning screen presence. The bad news: Her last movie was the cliche machine The Ugly Truth, which was directed by Robert Luketic - just like this movie. One can only hope Luketic is in Legally Blonde mode. PROSPECT: C

MARMADUKE: A CGI dog movie based on a lame comic strip and directed by Tom Dey, the man who badly made the likes of Shanghai Noon, Showtime (so I've heard)  and the aptly titled Failure to Launch?  Oh HELL no! Put this  movie into the CONE OF SHAME! PROSPECT: F

SPLICE: When I saw the trailer for this, I thought it looked like a remake of It's Alive. Then I realized it had Sarah Polley in it. Last time she was in a horror flick, it turned out pretty well: The Dawn of the Dead remake. PROSPECT: B


THE A-TEAM: I thought the original show was stupid (not in a good way), and this is directed by Joe Carnahan, who made the repugnant Smokin' Aces. Only Liam Neeson's presence saves this from an F. Unless Carnahan shows massive improvement, the only reason this movie will succeed is because of people's misguided nostalgia for the 1980s. PROSPECT: D

THE KARATE KID: Now here's something from the 80s I liked. Jackie Chan is a great performer, and Jaden Smith (son of Will) has screen presence. But behind the camera is (drum roll please) ... Harald Zwart!  (Insert puzzled utterings of "Who?")  HIs last credit was the sequel to the Pink Panther remake. Woo fricken' hoo. Directors matter, folks. PROSPECT: C


JONAH HEX: Ladies and Gentlemen, the movie no one is going to care about because it's competition is going to KILL it. Ironically enough, the director, Jimmy Hayward, was a Pixar animator, but the movie went in for reshoots under Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend). Uh-oh. PROSPECT: C

TOY STORY 3: I trust no explanation is necessary. PROSPECT: A+


GROWN-UPS: So last year Adam Sandler makes a movie that actually has a brain in its head (Funny People), but the masses don't like smart Adam Sandler movies, so it's back to the same ol' Dennis Dugan- directed dreck. D'oh. PROSPECT: D

KNIGHT AND DAY: Now here's the summer's real curio. A lot of people are still leery of Tom Cruise. I am not one of those people. Sure, the guy's nutty sometimes, but he never became a bad actor - And I think people lost sight of his talent more than Cruise lost sight of himself. The one thing that does bother me a little here is, it has the air of Mission Impossible - With Jokes! But again, directors matter. The helmer is James Mangold.  He's not an auteur, and he's had only one really big hit, Walk the Line. But he's a good actor's director, and he has good action chops too, as 3:10 to Yuma showed. I'm cautiously optimistic. PROSPECT: B

1 comment:

Allison M. Dickson said...

What I don't get with the Karate Kid is that it's in CHINA. Karate is Japanese.

I bet it will be on the same level as The Forbidden Kingdom, which is one of Chan's better "family" movies but ultimately forgettable. At least a damn sight better than that spy babysitter atrocity he made.