Friday, April 02, 2010

Wow! Movies in April SUCK!

Typically January hits the bottom of the barrel for moviegoing, but this year, with the warm weather here in Oho, April's movies feel like a chilling, unwelcome blast of Arctic air. There's exactly ONE film in wide release I really want to see this month - and that may be a record low for me.

This weekend

Clash of the Titans - Part of the charm of the 1981 original was its funky old-school feel. This remake looks like just another case of CGI overload. And to make it even less appealing,  the faux 3D is unwatchable, according to nearly every review I've read. 

The Last Song: No, Miley
, I don't take you seriously as an actress.

Why Did I Get Married Too: Tyler Perry's movies have never interested in me, and this isn't changing the tend. That's Why I'll Skip This One Too.

April 9 

Date Night - I like Tina Fey and Steve Carrell. Too bad the director, Shawn Levy, is a hack who makes inexplicably popular fare like the Night at the Museum movies and the first Pink Panther remake.

April 16 

Death at a Funeral - I would rather see the Frank Oz version, thanks. And what in the WORLD is director Neil LaBute drinking when he selects scripts these days? He once made interesting movies like In the Company of Men and Nurse Betty. Now he makes trashier movies like the Wicker Man remake and Lakeview Terrace. Tis a puzzlement and a shame,

Kick-Ass - Here's the exception. This I will see. I have a feeling the geek crowd is going to overrated it, but the trailer is genuinely funny, and the director Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake, Stardust) has real talent. 

April 23

The Back-Up Plan: J.Lo in a glorified TV movie by the same outfit that made Extraordinary Measures. What, you mean you don't remember what that was?

The Losers - Zoe Saldana has great talent, but she alone is not reason to purchase a ticket.

Oceans: I skipped Earth, last year's Disney Nature film, so I see no reason to catch this.

April 30

Furry Vengeance: Brendan Fraser gets abused by animals, and by director Roger Kumble, the maestro behind The Sweetest Thing (one of the worst chick flicks ever made) and College Road Trip. Makes me long for Dr. Dolittle

Nightmare on Elm Street - Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger is inspired casting, but Platinum Dunes, Michael Bay's horror shingle, has yet to make a flick with any kind of acclaim. I rather doubt they'll start now.

Oh, well. The good news is that by that point, Iron Man 2 is only a week away. Till then, hellloooo Netflix and TCM!

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